Premature
ejaculation, or ejaculating before you or your partner
wanted you to do so, is a common problem that strikes most men at some point in
their lives. Several factors can influence when ejaculation occurs, but it can
be controlled with some forethought or, in extreme cases, medical intervention.
Here are some strategies to help you get over premature
ejaculation and improve your sexual stamina.
1.
Reduce
anxiety
For many men
anxiety and pressure to perform is a major contributor to premature
ejaculation. Relax and remember that your partner probably cares about more
than the timing of your orgasms, and that premature ejaculation doesn't mean
you can't still be good in bed.
·
Take climaxing out of
your expectations. Instead of viewing intercourse only as a means of achieving
orgasm, reframe it as relaxing, pleasurable time with your partner that you'll
enjoy regardless of ejaculation. Discuss this new mindset with your partner, so
that he or she can stop pressuring you, intentionally or not.
2.
Think
nonsexual thoughts.
If you notice
yourself getting too excited, turn your thoughts to something distant, abstract
and unsexy, such as math, rush hour traffic or baseball. Only dwell on it long
enough to give yourself a short break from arousal, maybe 5 to 10 seconds, then
refocus your attention on your partner. Avoid thinking of a topic that is going
to make you stressed or cause you to lose your arousal entirely.
3.
Try
edging
Edging, or orgasm
control, is the practice of maintaining a high level of sexual arousal while
delaying ejaculation. It takes practice, but it gets easier over time. Here are
two methods recommended by the National Institutes of Health to stop premature
ejaculation:
- · Stop-and-start method: Have intercourse as usual until you feel yourself coming uncomfortably close to orgasm. Immediately and abruptly cease all stimulation for 30 seconds, then start again. Repeat this pattern until you're ready to ejaculate.
- · Squeeze method: Have intercourse as usual until you feel like orgasm is seconds away. Abruptly stop other stimulation and gently squeeze your thumb and forefinger around the part of the penis where the glans meets the shaft (or your partner could do this). After squeezing for a few seconds, pause all stimulation for another 30 seconds before resuming intercourse. Repeat this pattern until you're ready to ejaculate.
4.
Change
sex positions
Some intercourse
positions put less pressure on the glans (or the most sensitive part of the
penis). Here's what to do:
- · Try "passive" positions. Lie beneath your female partner, or try a side-by-side (or spooning) position.
- · Avoid "active" positions. Missionary and rear-entry positions place the most stimulation and friction on the glans, so consider taking them off the menu for now.
5.
Take
it slow
Depending on
your personal sensitivity, slowing your movements and opting for gentler, more
teasing intercourse can help you hold off orgasm longer. If you find yourself
getting too close to orgasm, slow down for a bit, change to a new position, or
take a break to stimulate your partner in other ways.
6.
Focus
on foreplay.
Sometimes "premature" is a frame of mind. Even if your ejaculation comes
quickly during intercourse, you can still give your partner a great sexual
experience through more extended, intimate, attentive and generous foreplay.
Stimulate your partner enough manually, orally or with toys, and they may not
need or want a long bout of intercourse to finish happy.


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